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So Long, Lovecraft, and thanks for all the fish people
Written by Justin Reviea. Performed in And Now, I Will Make Goat Noises! Cast 1: Sophie Kurtze 2: Kassie Parrott Text of the Piece persons are sitting center stage, facing the audience. 1: Admit it, you're a hack. 2: What part of that was hackery? 1: The part where the thing, whatever it is, was so malfomed as to be "unnamable." There's no such thing. Everything in this world has some definable shape and substance. You just couldn't find the right adjectives. 2: What words would you use to desribe an eldritch horror? 1: Eldritch, there's a start! Now grab a thesaurus and come back in an hour. 2: I did my research. Everybody who's ever encountered this thing has reported encountering something, but nobody has been able to describe it. That's what "unnamable" means. They couldn't name it. 1: They were just drunk and imagining things. 2: Then how can you explain how they were gored by a bull and clawed by a gorilla at the same time? pause 1: ...You're not joking,are you? 2: It gets better: you remember that house I was talking about? The one where people kept seeing that thing in the attic windows? The old man who lived there kept a padlock on the door to the attic stairs. 1: And? Maybe he wanted to keep the children out. 2: He didn't have any. There were rumors that his only child died a while back, before it was even named, which is why the headstone was blank. Other rumors say the grave was for his secret wife. Who knows? 1: A secret wife? Was she too ugly to go outdoors or something? 2: Maybe she wasn't human. shrugs 1: Stop that. Do you really want another genetics lecture? beat What happened to the old man, anyway? 2: He died, and the villagers decided to err on the side of caution and leave the padlock there. Shortly after, there was an incident at the pastor's house. Everyone there was dead and in multiple pieces. The lock, by the way--the one on the attic--was broken; the door ripped off its hinges. 1: Creepy. 2: The legends from there get a little strange. I suppose the thing died and kept on haunting. 1: I'm curious about that house now. Have you even seen it? 2: Yes. I finally got the chance a few years back. I went up to the attic and I found what I suppose were its bones. Aside from the horns, the skull was almost human. 1: This have anything to do with the secret wife? I think I've read that one: the hero finds out that he's a distant relative and starts turning into a fish. 2: What have you been reading? beat 1: Just the same sort of trash you write. 2: unfazed It's also worth noting that people still see whatever it is, floating around the forest near its grave on moonless nights. and looks up at the cieling sky Hmm, kind of like this one. his left arm slowly and looks around confused 1: his (right) arm also...Where did you say this house was? 2: Oh, the house? It's that one right there. towards the audience in front of them. 1: to his feet Mother fu-- cut off and at least five loud screams fill the air Category:Pieces